Stupid In Love

This is stupid 
I'm not stupid 
Dont talk to me 
Like I'm stupid 
I still love you 
But I just cant do this 
I may be dumb but 
I'm not stupid - Rihanna 


We all have that one ex that we're stupid for. That one that we just can't let go of. No matter how hard you try you just can't get over them. whenever you're damn near over them they POP back up and want to be "friends" like nothing ever happened.


I'll speak on my own experience. Since I won't call this guy an ex he's referred to as my "situation". Our "relationship" was rather complicated (too much to explain just trust me it was). Nonetheless it seems that every time I'm almost over the "situation" he comes back and I'm right back where we left off me being stupid loving someone who doesn't deserve the affection. 


Recently I tweeted "Ahhhhhhhhh I hate this bitch why does he keep crossing my mind". about 4 hrs later I receive a txt from him asking if I really hate him. I say to myself I don't think I would have tweeted it if I didn't mean it. So my response was Yes I do hate you. 


I know that I only hate him because I love him more than I should. I secretly hate a teeny tiny part of myself for loving someone who hasn't earned my affection. I love hard I put everything I have into one person there's no use in half ass(ing). I can tell myself he's hurt you more than once but when I see smell feel hear him all those memories and feelings flood my mind I can't help myself. The hatred is silenced by love. 


I can't figure out why it's so hard to let this person go when they apparently don't want to be with you. They're just playing a game of cat and mouse. Don't get me wrong Im not chasing him nor am I sitting back waiting. It's just that whenever I'm moving on he comes back and I fall into the trap EVERYTIME. 


A friend of mine told me today "Women need closure. It's hard to let go of someone/something if you don't have closure if it's not finished". 


Se Lavi....