This is stupid
I'm not stupid
Dont talk to me
Like I'm stupid
I still love you
But I just cant do this
I may be dumb but
I'm not stupid - Rihanna
We all have that one ex that we're stupid for. That one that we just can't let go of. No matter how hard you try you just can't get over them. whenever you're damn near over them they POP back up and want to be "friends" like nothing ever happened.
I'll speak on my own experience. Since I won't call this guy an ex he's referred to as my "situation". Our "relationship" was rather complicated (too much to explain just trust me it was). Nonetheless it seems that every time I'm almost over the "situation" he comes back and I'm right back where we left off me being stupid loving someone who doesn't deserve the affection.
Recently I tweeted "Ahhhhhhhhh I hate this bitch why does he keep crossing my mind". about 4 hrs later I receive a txt from him asking if I really hate him. I say to myself I don't think I would have tweeted it if I didn't mean it. So my response was Yes I do hate you.
I know that I only hate him because I love him more than I should. I secretly hate a teeny tiny part of myself for loving someone who hasn't earned my affection. I love hard I put everything I have into one person there's no use in half ass(ing). I can tell myself he's hurt you more than once but when I see smell feel hear him all those memories and feelings flood my mind I can't help myself. The hatred is silenced by love.
I can't figure out why it's so hard to let this person go when they apparently don't want to be with you. They're just playing a game of cat and mouse. Don't get me wrong Im not chasing him nor am I sitting back waiting. It's just that whenever I'm moving on he comes back and I fall into the trap EVERYTIME.
A friend of mine told me today "Women need closure. It's hard to let go of someone/something if you don't have closure if it's not finished".
Se Lavi....
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Gender Specific
If you actually believe in OUR God it would be no argument because the bible says he's our father. - Chanel
I say male because Adam was a vision of himself therefore male was created before female- Mike
Both.. And neither... God is not human he's not limited by human characteristics, but if u had to classify he's both- D'Marcus
Male.. There is no such thing as a female gender in heaven. Females were created after man(from adams rib). All heavenly beings are male.... its a mystery, and kinda hard to explain, but there's NO female gender in heaven. - Bartley
Male.. Father Son Holy spirit -Ash
I myself believe that God has NO gender he is just there a spirit- Chiaunte (me)
As we all know God has NO gender. God is not male or female. Nor alien animal elephant dog cat lion tiger or bear OH MY! Or so we've been told.
We often categorize God as a man. When we pray we call on the "Heavenly father". why is this the case? Is a man superior? Why must our creator be a male? Can a woman not create galaxies so vast and beautiful? Or a species so different from each other so creative so like in her own image? Is she not intelligent or strong enough? Or is she just Inferior to males?
Maybe it's because God created Adam first and he was created in Gods image so God himself must be male. Or because Eve came after Adam. Maybe because Eve was a weak being. Eve ate from the tree she gave in to temptation. Our God is not a weak God.
Who or what do you think God is?
All of these questions may NEVER be answered Im pretty much just thinking/typing out loud ..... (FFT) I suppose
I myself believe that God has NO gender he is just there a spirit- Chiaunte (me)
As we all know God has NO gender. God is not male or female. Nor alien animal elephant dog cat lion tiger or bear OH MY! Or so we've been told.
We often categorize God as a man. When we pray we call on the "Heavenly father". why is this the case? Is a man superior? Why must our creator be a male? Can a woman not create galaxies so vast and beautiful? Or a species so different from each other so creative so like in her own image? Is she not intelligent or strong enough? Or is she just Inferior to males?
Maybe it's because God created Adam first and he was created in Gods image so God himself must be male. Or because Eve came after Adam. Maybe because Eve was a weak being. Eve ate from the tree she gave in to temptation. Our God is not a weak God.
Who or what do you think God is?
All of these questions may NEVER be answered Im pretty much just thinking/typing out loud ..... (FFT) I suppose
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Confused Love
The heart to my beat
The west to my east
The ground beneath my feet
My balance
Heart and Soul
My core
My nourishment
The food I eat
Everything I see
The words I speak
Unconditional love
Feelings so unreal
It's hard to explain how I feel
Actions speak louder than words
Or so i've heard
I wanna show you
But I can't move when you're around
head on cloud 9
10 11 12
This unspoken love is a prison
My own personal hell
Your rejection is my worst fear
Lucifer laughing in my ear
Pure misery
I know you aint feeling me
It's killing me
Softly
Your face
Your eyes
That smile
They taunt me
Warm me
Soothe me
Damn this love is confusing
The west to my east
The ground beneath my feet
My balance
Heart and Soul
My core
My nourishment
The food I eat
Everything I see
The words I speak
Unconditional love
Feelings so unreal
It's hard to explain how I feel
Actions speak louder than words
Or so i've heard
I wanna show you
But I can't move when you're around
head on cloud 9
10 11 12
This unspoken love is a prison
My own personal hell
Your rejection is my worst fear
Lucifer laughing in my ear
Pure misery
I know you aint feeling me
It's killing me
Softly
Your face
Your eyes
That smile
They taunt me
Warm me
Soothe me
Damn this love is confusing
untitled
My words seem useless
Even as women they abuse us
Use us
If he aint strokin'
If ya legs aint open
Wide
and he aint getting between ya thighs
you just a stuck up bitch in his eyes
I'll admit I've smashed a few
not as many as you
you, you, and you
1 2 maybe 3
but that's just Chi
They really dont respect ya
they just wanna sex ya
nut up
and keep it moving
on to the next
chuck the duece
send a txt
thank for the sex
if all you was do is "please" me
baby it's not that easy
Penetration is too simple
the fucking I want is mental
way beyond physical
i need something spiritual
feed me knowledge
give me power
just sit and talk for hrs and hrs on end
Im ready for our journey to begin
Even as women they abuse us
Use us
If he aint strokin'
If ya legs aint open
Wide
and he aint getting between ya thighs
you just a stuck up bitch in his eyes
I'll admit I've smashed a few
not as many as you
you, you, and you
1 2 maybe 3
but that's just Chi
They really dont respect ya
they just wanna sex ya
nut up
and keep it moving
on to the next
chuck the duece
send a txt
thank for the sex
if all you was do is "please" me
baby it's not that easy
Penetration is too simple
the fucking I want is mental
way beyond physical
i need something spiritual
feed me knowledge
give me power
just sit and talk for hrs and hrs on end
Im ready for our journey to begin
Monday, October 25, 2010
Rejection
There are many forms of rejection. Rejection from a job. I know Im not the only person who gets beaucoup rejection emails shit I got one from the Dollar Store.
My favorite is "Broke Ass Nigga Rejection" thats when you go shopping and you credit card DECLINES..
Then there's that relationship rejection Its beyond embarrassing if you ask me. Rejection hurts your ego. It's like taking a brick to the face. Honestly I've been rejected a few times (scouts honor). It's on my list of my Top 10 fears right under dying.
Every time I've been DECLINED it stung a lil bit. I actually cried once (that's a long story to be told over a few bottles of Agavero accompanied by 2 shot glasses). I can recall being told "A closed mouth don't get fed" and my response was always "And a tender heart won't break either" ..
My question is. Is it easier to just put yourself out there? Let that man/woman know you're interested or just sit around saying what if... Would you rather let the opportunity for something good to pass you by?
I always say "If ya hungry speak up they might feed ya otherwise sit on ya ass and starve while that other man eat cha dinner" .. Open ya mouth. If you're REJECTEd take ya L and keep it moving. Rejection happens to the BEST of us. I'm a prime example. It's not gonna kill you. I'm still living breathing eating and cracking jokes on the dudes who rejected me shit we all cool. look at it like this rejection is just a way to get rid of the bruised apples before you get that PERFECT juicy red Granny Smith apple ...
TMO (Thats My Opinion) Dont sleep on it. Speak on it playa ...
My favorite is "Broke Ass Nigga Rejection" thats when you go shopping and you credit card DECLINES..
Then there's that relationship rejection Its beyond embarrassing if you ask me. Rejection hurts your ego. It's like taking a brick to the face. Honestly I've been rejected a few times (scouts honor). It's on my list of my Top 10 fears right under dying.
Every time I've been DECLINED it stung a lil bit. I actually cried once (that's a long story to be told over a few bottles of Agavero accompanied by 2 shot glasses). I can recall being told "A closed mouth don't get fed" and my response was always "And a tender heart won't break either" ..
My question is. Is it easier to just put yourself out there? Let that man/woman know you're interested or just sit around saying what if... Would you rather let the opportunity for something good to pass you by?
I always say "If ya hungry speak up they might feed ya otherwise sit on ya ass and starve while that other man eat cha dinner" .. Open ya mouth. If you're REJECTEd take ya L and keep it moving. Rejection happens to the BEST of us. I'm a prime example. It's not gonna kill you. I'm still living breathing eating and cracking jokes on the dudes who rejected me shit we all cool. look at it like this rejection is just a way to get rid of the bruised apples before you get that PERFECT juicy red Granny Smith apple ...
TMO (Thats My Opinion) Dont sleep on it. Speak on it playa ...
Xe Xes
Ex Sex
Compare to the next sex
Get it wet
just thinking about
His hip work
My hips jerk
Legs shake
Sex so good
Beds break
Damn
That ex sex
The best yet
Him going down
I can't force a sound
Lick it up
That sticky stuff
Head game insane
Scream his name
Oh yes
That ex sex
Bring the freak out
Blow my back out
Magic stick
The curve of his dick
Fits me perfect
Ex sex
From the back
Just like that
Fast or Slow
I like 'em both
Ex sex
The best sex
Compared to the next sex
HA
The ex sex
The best sex yet
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Die Swart Vrou
Core
The mother of your mother
her mothers mother land
STRENGTH
there's no end to her reign
beauty
unmatched by the heavens
created in his image
afro picks
thick lips
soft hips
traced with your finger tips
envied by many
her walk
talk
mind
her BEING
outspoken
the giver of life
in darkness she is LIGHT
she is strong
with the weight of the world
on her shoulders
she keeps going
she is the rainbow at the end of the storm
that shoulder to cry on
she is hope
she is POWER
the originator
innovator
she is the beginning
like Eve eating an apple from the tree
she is you
she is me
Die Swart Vrou
The Black Woman
The mother of your mother
her mothers mother land
STRENGTH
there's no end to her reign
beauty
unmatched by the heavens
created in his image
afro picks
thick lips
soft hips
traced with your finger tips
envied by many
her walk
talk
mind
her BEING
outspoken
the giver of life
in darkness she is LIGHT
she is strong
with the weight of the world
on her shoulders
she keeps going
she is the rainbow at the end of the storm
that shoulder to cry on
she is hope
she is POWER
the originator
innovator
she is the beginning
like Eve eating an apple from the tree
she is you
she is me
Die Swart Vrou
The Black Woman
Friday, October 22, 2010
Self Seduction
*knock knock knock*
he's here
the sight of him
my inhibitions disappear
unlocks the door
clothes hit the floor
No need to be subtle
I've waited long enough
I had no reason to rush you
I love you
I wanna touch you
suck you
fuck you
kiss your sweet lips
tease you with my finger tips
rub your back
lick your neck
better yet lick you mmmm
from head to toe
I wanna have you here on the floor
dont close the door
let the neighbors hear
me scream your name
drive me insane
from the back
from the side
let me ride
pleasure
deep inside
theres no end to our love making
I cant take it
you wont stop until Im there
scratch my back
pull my hair
oh yes baby
keep it right there
stroking faster
and faster
legs shaking
back breaking
deep breath
damn Im getting there
before we cum
staring in his eyes
then he STOPS
I ask him why
then it hits me
damn my batteries died
he's here
the sight of him
my inhibitions disappear
unlocks the door
clothes hit the floor
No need to be subtle
I've waited long enough
I had no reason to rush you
I love you
I wanna touch you
suck you
fuck you
kiss your sweet lips
tease you with my finger tips
rub your back
lick your neck
better yet lick you mmmm
from head to toe
I wanna have you here on the floor
dont close the door
let the neighbors hear
me scream your name
drive me insane
from the back
from the side
let me ride
pleasure
deep inside
theres no end to our love making
I cant take it
you wont stop until Im there
scratch my back
pull my hair
oh yes baby
keep it right there
stroking faster
and faster
legs shaking
back breaking
deep breath
damn Im getting there
before we cum
staring in his eyes
then he STOPS
I ask him why
then it hits me
damn my batteries died
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Dear John
Love was a game
You played me
Now Im insane
Scratch your car
burn you clothes
*spark up*
now me and girls are on the road
to her house
I see you there
What I'll do next
Hell I don't care
Shoot that bitch
Grab a knife
Now I just wanna take your life
breathe baby breathe
put your mind at ease
but there's one thing you should know
baby you're gonna die slow
behind this hoe
Did you love her?
I think NOT
you just wanted a quick NUT
if you wanna fuck
you had me
but with her you had to be
just had to see what it was like
Now I have to end your life
you promised me eternity
I wanted you to plant your seed
*stab*
John I loved you yes I did
*stab*
I wanted to have your kids
*stab*
I gave you my fucking heart
*stab*
Now its yours I'll RIP APART
*passes out*
I wake up
DEATH in the air
and there's blood EVERYWHERE
I scream JOHN ARE YOU THERE ..............
to be continued
You played me
Now Im insane
Scratch your car
burn you clothes
*spark up*
now me and girls are on the road
to her house
I see you there
What I'll do next
Hell I don't care
Shoot that bitch
Grab a knife
Now I just wanna take your life
breathe baby breathe
put your mind at ease
but there's one thing you should know
baby you're gonna die slow
behind this hoe
Did you love her?
I think NOT
you just wanted a quick NUT
if you wanna fuck
you had me
but with her you had to be
just had to see what it was like
Now I have to end your life
you promised me eternity
I wanted you to plant your seed
*stab*
John I loved you yes I did
*stab*
I wanted to have your kids
*stab*
I gave you my fucking heart
*stab*
Now its yours I'll RIP APART
*passes out*
I wake up
DEATH in the air
and there's blood EVERYWHERE
I scream JOHN ARE YOU THERE ..............
to be continued
A Lil Bit
Brown Eyes
Thick Thighs
Not much ass
Wont give you whiplash
Sweet like morning dew
Dont let her smile fool you
Thighs like steel
Tongue like a raging bull
Curves
She's got a way with words
Sophisticated
Opinionated
Ambitious by all means
Big dreams
Wont chase a nigga for his green
Yes she's quite vulgar
Keeps these niggas in order
Never checked by no chick
Get cha boy he all on my CLIT
REAL WOMAN
No weave
No pads for dat ass
Cleopatra
Don't need Caesar to please her
Never looking for no hero
Clark Kent
Yall can have that shit
Hard to please
She's human shes got needs
Stroke her body like a FEIGN
Never give up her heart
Loves for fools
Dont need the blues
Broken hearts
Crying nights
Feeling lonely all her life
Rather sit and drink
Sit and think
About about about
Think about
That nigga that just passed
Mmmm damn he had a nice ass
Forgive her she's got a one track mind
So forgetful
A complex individual
A woman
She cries
Shes moody
Loves old black and white movies
She's random
She rambles
She slanders
Always thinking
On edge
Hardly sleeps
A fattie she loves to eat
Shes a Woman
She's me
Chi ......
Thick Thighs
Not much ass
Wont give you whiplash
Sweet like morning dew
Dont let her smile fool you
Thighs like steel
Tongue like a raging bull
Curves
She's got a way with words
Sophisticated
Opinionated
Ambitious by all means
Big dreams
Wont chase a nigga for his green
Yes she's quite vulgar
Keeps these niggas in order
Never checked by no chick
Get cha boy he all on my CLIT
REAL WOMAN
No weave
No pads for dat ass
Cleopatra
Don't need Caesar to please her
Never looking for no hero
Clark Kent
Yall can have that shit
Hard to please
She's human shes got needs
Stroke her body like a FEIGN
Never give up her heart
Loves for fools
Dont need the blues
Broken hearts
Crying nights
Feeling lonely all her life
Rather sit and drink
Sit and think
About about about
Think about
That nigga that just passed
Mmmm damn he had a nice ass
Forgive her she's got a one track mind
So forgetful
A complex individual
A woman
She cries
Shes moody
Loves old black and white movies
She's random
She rambles
She slanders
Always thinking
On edge
Hardly sleeps
A fattie she loves to eat
Shes a Woman
She's me
Chi ......
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