Selfish

Sorry I had to leave

Can’t promise I’ll come back

I know it’s selfish of me

I can’t help it

Things moved too fast

Memories choke me

They stain my pillow

Remember how we used to be?

Tracing tear stains

Stand in the rain to hide the pain

Are my apologies enough?

Never thought I’d leave

Flooded with emotion

Yesterday I tried to see the point in staying

Blurry vision

Thoughts too far gone

This has gone far enough

As bad as I want you to be here with me

It’s best to leave you behind

Or did you let me go?

Time was on our side

Would you believe that I love you?

Despite my actions

Believe me its true

I write these words

Instead of reaching for you at night

It’s the fact that I thought I was holding you back

I just needed to disappear

My dreams cry for you

If I could turn it back

I wouldn’t know you

I would have never whispered my name

Save you the shame

Prevent the hurt

I’m sorry but I had to leave

Can’t say I’ll come back

I know its selfish of me

Giving The Best

In the morning

No feather light kiss to your cheek

We don’t have sweet goodbyes

No whispers about our shared pleasures

No breaths wasted

No time to speak

How many times have we said we’re done?

I lost count after one

The first time was believable

Second time not so much

Are we over us?

Us as in the random hook-ups

Drunk nights I’ll send that sooooooooooo txt

You know I just want to fuck

Door unlocked

Find my way and we do us

We never bothered to know each other

After the fucking it could have been something

We’ve gotten to the point where we don’t even like each other

Or is that a part of the game?

Why do I let you get under my skin?

Talk shit to make the sex better?

These are the thougts I gather as we take yet another “break”

Then I’m back at your door

We fuck

Take leave until we get drunk and lust kicks in

To say we’ve shared the deepest parts of ourselves with one another

Pass by on the street and we don’t even speak

Our eyes never meet

Yet I end up back in your bed

Hands gripping the hair on your head

Kissing your chest

You bite my lips my neck

I guess we’ve found what we like best about each other

No words just moans

Your sheets wet with our sweat

As we give our best

Done

I always knew we were on different levels

Things seem mutual to you

I was always a step ahead

A little bit deeper

Thinking of you first

Trying my best to keep you safe

Never wanting to see you hurt

Tonight I feel so different

I always cared too much

Tables turned

Like you I’m starting to not give a fuck

Can’t rely on you when times get tough

There’s no one but me to hold onto

The only one I can trust

I won’t make a fuss

I know you’re not clutch

I’m at the bottom of your list

Random bitches come before me

When I needed you most you ignored me

Like my life and downfalls were boring

You won’t ever support me

So how can you even say you love me?

Who were you fooling?

Talking bullshit as usual that’s all you’re doing

This shit is getting old

Take your shit and hit the door

When you needed me I was always there

Never again

Grab your shit

Take it all I don’t fucking care

Dont take my keys not even the spare

Torture Chamber

I was naive

Caught in a web

A bed

Egyptian cotton sheets of deceit

Walls caving in

Cant escape these feelings

I should have known I was used for amusement

The way you seduce Im your prisoner

Searching for an escape

My disease

Cancer

Theres no cure for you

Im about to break

Addicted to your allure

Getting nothing in return

How did I get here

What did I do to deserve this pain

This burn

Third degree

I need to get away

You always call me back

When something's bad for you

You cant

You wont let go

What do you do

Ive been devoured completely

Ive lost control I hate to show you your power over me

Cant see thru the smoke

Your love was all an illusion

I cant stop this ache

Every step leads to another mistake

Every breath smothers me

Inside Im screaming

Begging

Pleading

My heart is my enemy

Every beat reminds me of you

Im feigning for you

Yearning for more

Every step leads me to your door

Desire

Full of wonder

Taking me away

Running in circles

I’m blinded

Trying it just feels like

I’m dying

Backing away slowly

Needs and wants so confused It’s bad

I’ll forget everything I believe

Just to stay present

I’m afraid you’ll forget about me

Let me fade away

Become a distant memory

This burning desire

Setting a pleasurable fire to me

The smoke that fills me

The more I inhale you

It’s threatening

Smothering

This will break me

End me Bring me to my knees

On the edge

I should jump before your flames engulf me

Gasoline tears stain my cheeks

I’ll end up dying

How can this be?

How did I get here?

Your heat consumes me

Steady not breathing

Silently screaming I have to have you now

Without a word I'll give in

Finally I’m yours

My Love

Indescribable

I’ll take the time

Find the words to define

Metaphorically speaking It’s the tears a cloud cries

While the sun shines

Bitter sweet Sweet?

I’m guessing it could be

Honey from a hive occupied by one thousand bees

Take as much as you please

If you flee it will sting

The pain of this love is oh so refreshing

Like morning dew It’s sticky sometimes messy

Like juices from a melon that drip down your chin

Or like playing in the rain

An enjoyable cleansing to wash away the past pain

A dozen roses that won’t die

A scent so amazing its hard to describe

Eighth wonder of the world

The look on a fathers face the first time he sees his baby girl

From her first step

To the first date

Her wedding day

The moment he gives her away

Unconditional

What more can I say?

More precious than a diamond

Priceless

No I won’t continue

Let’s take a lifetime

I’d rather show you than preach to you

Poison

Shooting up

Sweet nectar in your veins

Sweet pleasure

Sweet pain

For a moment

Going numb

Novacane

Indulging

Drugs taking you higher

It’s a pity

Can’t function without this rush

Spirit is crying

Poison feels good for only so long before you realize youre dying

Longing for the next fix

Searching for someone to scratch your itch

So naive

Settling for whatever you can get

Selling yourself short

Taking whoever wants to please If they can take you there

Youre with it

Addicted

Admit it

Pipe is looking empty

Tried 12 steps

Feet carry you back to the one who gets it wet

The one who never rejects

Knows what you want and never objects

A dealer

Drugs are the best

Accepting neglect disrespect

Just for a fix

Poison

Sex

Killing softly

Sexual OD

The sweetest most pleasurable death