Letter to my nonexistent King

I plan my future around you
My dreams include you
The one thing I may never have
I'd unlawfully kill for
Dont think Im crazy
Its nothing like that baby
No Im not obsessed
I havent even met you yet
Yet your voice excites me
You speak
Venus flower trapped
Yours words bite me
Inviting
Pleasurable bruises
Cut deep
Your intellect
Yes!
Style of dress
I could care less
Its a factor
Your mental and spiritual being is what really matters
Ambitious
Respectful
Educated black man
Rare breed
I'll take the lead and get down on my knee
I want to...
hmmm
Marry you
Before another woman gets a chance
White dress
First dance
Slow
Sweet
I'll just fantasize about you until the day we meet

Gravity

Cant keep up

Wont let go

Old hurt

An awkward pain

Fellings expressed

Once the words leave

Shame crowds my brain

Better judgement 

Just leave 

No goobyes

Grab your heart 

Go

Jump the door

Feet wont move

Cant desert me

Wont leave a piece of me

Cant have it back

I cant go

Staying only turns me cold

Fighting myself 

Hating me 

I feel so weak

Try to stand on my own feet

On my knees 

I plead

I always get the best of me

Cant  be my own saviour 

Waiting for strength

Praying for the end

Near or far

Lord knows this is hard

I dont want to be where you are 

Leaving brings scars

Youre embedded in whats left of my heart

Remnants of a love that was doomed from the start